Intro to Em.

FACE NUMBER 1

     American. It seems to be the identity of this town, and everyone in it. I'm a 17 year old American girl living in a small American town. We've got enough red necks to power the civil war for another thirty years if it started up again. Trucks. Guns. Cowboy hats. And what would a small red neck town be without its never ending supply of confederate flags? We wouldn't know. We've got tons of them. I'm not going to pretend that country music doesn't have its appeal, I love the stuff, but I'm not what one would call a redneck. Aside from red necks our town is populated with the red neck's sworn enemy, what is known as the "wangster." A wanna-be Gangster. No one in this little hick town actually belongs to a gang, but they would like everyone to think they do. Walking around with their jeans resting somewhere between the bottom of their butt and the start of their knee they walk with a swagger and a vocabulary straight out of a Lil Wayne song. They wear bandannas so they can "rep" their "gang" and yell at everyone and everything. They smoke and spit and cuss and all around have the education of a three year old and the worldly knowledge of a skunk. You can find the "wangster" lurking in its natural habitat, small side streets and abandoned alleys. They are best avoided when possible. Then, there is me. I'm Emily. I am neither red neck nor wangster. There really is not a title for what I am. I'm not a country girl but I love country music, I am not a punk but I sport their hair styles, I am not a prep but I like makeup and perfume, I'm not a nerd but I love the x box 360 and the show Big Bang Theory, I'm not a "wangster" but I sport a tough exterior, I am not in leadership but I lead, I am not a jock but I enjoy running, I am not a health freak but I like yoga and am a vegetarian, I am not a christian but I love Jesus and believe in God. There are so many things that make up Em.

     I live with my mother and father and brother. I have a golden retriever named Lilo, and when it comes down to it she's my best friend. I don't have many friends, possible because of my stand offish attitude or my take me as I am mentality or because I have a hard time relating to anyone in this town. I have friends yes, and I love them all, but I don't have a  best friend per say, or friends who spend the night every weekend. The biggest reason for this in my opinion is my views on life, as a woman who was very close to me once said "Our only reason for being here is to light the world" I believe I am here to help my fellow human beings. I am determined to make the most of myself when I am young so that I will be better equipped to help others later in life "knowledge is power" and so knowledge I seek. I had my grade school education at a Waldorf school, and it was the best education I could get. My parents paid a lot of money for me to have that education and I am so grateful that they did. Right off the bat I was taught to be artistic and kind. I learned how to garden before I had homework, I was taught to run long distances and hike and explore the world around me before I was taught to sit still in a class room all day long. I was taught to think for myself, and to stand apart from my peers when they do something I do not want to do. I learned so many valuable life lessons. When I got to high school however I found it to be quit the opposite. My parents no longer had to pay the big bucks to send me to school, this education was just as high quality and more informative than Waldorf had been and it was being handed to me on a silver platter, all expense paid education. Every child here was having chances thrown at them, they could be anything they wanted to be. Anything. All they had to do was take the opportunities being offered and work hard, and their dreams would come true. Its a child's dream right? Could you imagine telling a starving child in Africa that this was it? They could have an education for free! They could be anything they wanted to be! It would be a dream come true. However those children don't get those opportunities, millions of children all over the world would kill for what we were being handed in that school, but they couldn't. It was all us. Somehow we were the lucky ones. Somehow we had been given this gift.. and it was being thrown away. When I reached high school with all this in mind I was shocked at what was going on. Where I thought we would be learning we had to listen to the other students gossip and yell, and where the teacher should be teaching she was sending people to the office and trying to stop the mayhem. No progress was made because the students wouldn't let it. It was more important to get up on the latest gossip than get an education, and parties were the talk of the town while your supposed to be reading your assignments. I soon easily forgot my ideals and fell into the lure of gossip and fighting and distracting. I found myself in sophomore year with a popular boyfriend and good grades. That's when I made my fatal mistake.. that's when it all went downhill.. I broke up with him. I made the horrible blunder of breaking up with a popular boy. That was it, my life was ruined. I was alone now, no popular boyfriend to keep me safe. Although my friends did their best to aid me there was nothing they could do. People I didn't even know were screaming at me, calling me horrible names, I was a virgin yet I kept hearing about what a "whore" I was and about how I was a lesbian C word. I couldn't get away from it. There was nothing I could do. It went on and on and I crashed into depression and eventually had to be removed from the school to keep my own sanity. I went into Independent study. I had no idea what a God send it would turn out to be. Soon after my departure from my former high school my family went to Guatemala where I came face to face with my ideals, to change the world. To help others. I have been striving ever sense that trip to be the best I can be, I have taken a hand in helping the community and will be graduating a year early from school. I have won state for my speeches and am being sent to state again. I have no interest in drugs or parties or drinking, my passions lie in advocacy and change. High school had a scarring impact on my life as I'm sure it has for many people, fortunately I was able to find my passion and have been saved. I know what I'm here for and I know what I need to do. I have a cause and that cause is what keeps me going. I believe everyone was put on this earth for a reason and I have found mine. I have created this blog as a way to get my thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams into writing. And so here goes.

Em

"hear me now of thou cruel and unbearable world, thou are baste and debauched as can be, and a knight with her banners all bravely unfurled, now hurls down her gauntlet to thee."